Short Wrap & Reflection

By the time I go back to school on Tuesday, I will have worked 2 of the previous 10 days. I will admit that this is pretty ridiculous and come Memorial Day I'm sure I will be wondering if it was worth it. At the moment though, I am just enjoying it. The only thing I have to report about school is that our Valentine's Party was a great success. I was too busy to take pictures but even after two days at home, most everyone remembered their Valentine's and snacks. We had healthy snacks to celebrate Dental Health and Heart Healthy Awareness month including bananas, grapes, cheese and crackers, and apple juice. The kids really enjoyed it and I think it was a great idea. They didn't really miss out with all the candy that went home in their treat bags and Valentines.

One of almost all of my education professors favorite assignments was something they liked to call "self-reflection." We were probably told 200 times about the importance of "reflection" and how it was one a teacher's greatest tools. I'll admit that I understood the point but didn't fully appreciate its value. Now over halfway through the year, I think it's time to do a little. I tend to get more accomplished when I write it down so that's what I'm going to do. This is really just to keep me sane and motived for the rest of the year so feel free to stop reading at any time. It will probably be pretty boring.

On Management: At the beginning of the year, I seemed to have a pretty good handle on management. Sure, there were some days when things didn't go exactly as planned and I didn't have "that" kid who nobody can handle, but for the most part I was relieved at how well I was managing. Since it was one of my biggest weaknesses and fears going in, I spent a lot of time making sure that it wasn't going to be my downfall. I didn't smile. I was firm. I was consistent. I praised good behaviors nonstop. I ignored when it was appropriate. I remembered that they were kids. I empathized at the right time and scolded at the right times. I put a lot of time and energy into making sure we had a learning environment where we could learn. Then, I forgot they were five. I started to let up. I started assuming they would remember what the rules are. I became complacent. And now, here I am in February--frustrated that my kids won't listen, exasperated that we can't walk in the hallway in a line, and exhausted from putting out fires. What went wrong??!? Hence this reflection and here's what I think. It wasn't something that happened overnight. I remember one point at the end of September when I realized it was the midterm, and I didn't think we'd learned anything. I looked at the assessment and realized that we had to step it up and do some serious learning if I wanted my students to pass. So, I shifted my focus. I spent less time on managing and more time on worrying about lessons. Bad thing? Not initially. I did need to step up my teaching but I shouldn't have sacrificed the environment we were working so hard to achieve. In reality, they had a learned a lot at the end of September. I just didn't realize it so I stopped teaching it. Rules, expectations, social skills, how to learn, how to be in school, and the list of little things goes on and on. Little things that have left me with great lessons that no one hears and good ideas that are cut short by interruptions. After all, they have only been in school 102 days and forget everything after 2 days at home-not to mention 2 weeks.

So now what? I should have come back from Christmas break exactly like we started the year in August with a firm adherence to the rules, repeated reminders of expectations, and not a lot of smiling. But I didn't. Instead, I wrongly assumed they would remember how to be in school and am finding myself frustrated more days than not. I wanted them to be adults but they are after all, only five. They don't remember. They LOVE testing and pushing the limits. They too easily forget to use an inside voice, walk in the halls, and listen when the teacher is talking. They want rules. They need rules. They thrive with rules. And I did a poor job of implementing them or keeping them implemented. So now I have to do a little back pedaling. Set the exciting stuff aside and go back to the basics. They've had 8 of the last 10 days at home so I'm basically starting over. I get the chance to pretend like it's August again. Firm. Consistent. Non-complacent. High energy. Recreating the environment where everyone is successful. Combining a high level of management with a high level of learning and lessons. I've got my work cut out for me that's for sure, but I've decided I'm ready. Or bored. Take your pick.