The Hardest Part

Sometimes the hard parts of teaching aren't even teaching at all. They aren't in the classroom or have anything to do with academics. It's not the ornery one or the angry one or the whiny one. It's not even the dramatics, the meltdowns, tattling, or the fights. It's the ones that hurt your heart.

The one that walks to school over a mile on the coldest day of the year because no one bothered to tell him that it was too cold to go. The one who deflects his hurt with anger and attitude because it's the only defense mechanism he knows. It's the one that arrives to school too late for breakfast and when asked if he had any at home replies incredulously with "We don't do that!" and a look that tells you he doesn't think anyone else does either. It's the one who saves his snack for his younger sisters at home because he knows they're not getting one. It's the one with the biggest grin in the room for three tiny erasers he got at the PowerStore. It's the ones you try to fight for because no one is fighting for them.
It's hard because you're not sure what to do. A child whose resiliency is helping him make it but who knows when it might run dry? His heart isn't quite hardened to the world yet but I fear that it won't be much longer before it is. It's probably true that there is only so much we can do but it also seems like there should be something more. Something besides a phone call to a hotline and bag of food on Fridays. How can you do that when he is 1 of 22? The one with the most needs but the least "needy?"

And while I know there isn't really an answer to my questions, I still think they need to be asked. I need to ask them of myself because otherwise he will get lost in the 22. He might fall through the cracks anyway but I don't want to be asking myself if there was anything else I could have done. I need to be able to say that I did what I could to show him that there was someone out there who did care. Someone who did fight for him even when he made it hard. Because who doesn't think that this is worth fighting for?

I Can Breathe Clearly Now

the snot is gone! FINALLY.

Last week was full with the high school Ag Expo and our K-1 Spring Musical. I took a few pictures at the expo and video taped the dress rehearsal of the program. I had 19 of 22 students show up for the show and the gym was packed full of parents seeing their kids perform for the first time. Each grade level sang 4 songs and they sang one song together. It was super cute and enjoyable. Ask to see the video when you see me. It only takes one song to know exactly what my class is like. The loud kid is yell singing over the others, the fidgety kid is falling off the bottom riser, the needy kid runs up to me in the middle wanting her tied, the angry kid is singing with his arms crossed, the sweet kid is singing her pretty little heart out, the clown is doing some air guitar, the shy kid has his hands in his pockets, and the list goes on and on. It's a tiny microcosm of my day in a two minute video where everyone looks sweet as sweet can be. Most were dressed to the nines with gelled hair, fancy pants, pretty dresses, and even a little cologne. Even the orneriest kid is easy to forgive with gelled hair, slacks, and a polo singing about planting love in others.

April Fool's!!!

Not sure if you could call it a success to make kids cry but our April Fool's Day pranks with the kids brought out the emotions right away yesterday. One of the other K teachers and I traded classes for the first bathroom break of the day so the kids thought that they were going to have to have another teacher for the day. One of the kids from the other class was very weary of me and this idea and when I wouldn't tell him what was going on he burst into tears. He had to consoled and let in on the joke before he settled down. Not sure what that says about me but I'm pretty sure it wasn't a compliment.

Then, we went into the classroom and I had changed their names on the Smartboard to be backwards. (We use the Smartboard for attendance and they move their name to either hot or cold lunch.) One of my boys goes by his initials so his was the only one that was really readable and he did NOT like it. I think he thought I was going to call him that all day. He burst into tears and was pretty upset that he might have to have a new name but got over it when he learned it would go back to normal on Monday. Everyone else was pretty chill with both things. Kindergarten is funny because they don't really get it. They thinks it's hysterical to tell you there is a spider on your shirt and yell April Fool's before you even say anything. Or my favorite is when they tell you something that's actually true and then try to tell you it's an April Fool's joke. Then, they think it's the funniest thing ever. Then, when things are actually funny, like the other teacher and I pretending not to know our own students' names, they think we're serious. Oh the babies of the school-how I love them.

What I Love About . . .

SPRING!

Spring is officially here and in keeping with the theme of listing what I love about the seasons here's the last one.

OUTSIDE RECESS!!! (Yes, I'm shouting it. You can shout outside. It's what outside is for.)
Longer amounts of daylight
Walking outside and breaking a sweat without being sweaty
Green grass
Upturned dirt
Tractors out in the fields
Flowers
Sunshine
4th Quarter (It's the last one)
Still sleeping with blankets
Saving money by using less heat/no air

It seems like this list is a little bit shorter but that's I've got for a Friday evening. In the health update department, I would love to say the snot is gone but the last time I said that two weeks ago it came back with a vengeance. However since this is the best I've breathed in a month, I'm back to being optimistic.

The Streak Ends

Despite my best efforts to think that my sickness was isolated to the weekend, it came on again strong in the middle of last week and my perfect attendance record was broken when I took my first sick day last Wednesday afternoon. I probably shouldn't even have been in school all day Wednesday with as crappy as I felt by 9 AM but I was too stubborn to call in and make plans from home. I spent the day in bed and recovered enough to go back on Thursday. I told the secretary that on Wednesday I felt sick but by Thursday just like I had a cold. It was a slow week anyway with at least 4 kids out each day and no students on Friday for school improvement. At one point, I seriously wondered it it was possible to drown in your own snot. It was disgusting. 2 weeks and 3 boxes of Kleenex later I'm finally starting to breathe a little bit better. Word on the street is that there isn't much that can be done for this killer cold but to wait it out. Never had serious sinus headache pain or pressure just enough to make me uncomfortable and annoyed. Over the counter drugs worked enough to keep me from drowning. The kids were back on track too this week and I had 21 of 22 most of the week.

I think at this point last year I was starting to wish that the year would be over and that I could get a new batch to start fresh. This year, talking with the two new teachers I know they feel that way but I'm starting to be a little reenergized for the final push. My kids are acting out a little less and seem to be fairly motivated. I'm feeling a little bit of pressure to really pick up my game because they're learning a lot and really starting to take off reading and writing. It took a while but maybe 4th quarter can be all that I envisioned the previous three to be. We shall wait and see.

Beware!

Sickness round 3? 4?, not really sure which, has struck hard. I had almost forgotten what it was like to be sick but alas, that fear has subsided. I remember and I'm not a fan. I was practically down and out over the weekend and have moved from aches, chills, and sweats on Saturday night to a head cold that has me breathing through my nose with a pile of Kleenex at my side tonight. My saving grace is that if I am feeling this sick most of my kids are probably feeling worse. I had 6 gone today and two that are back but each missed 5 days of their own. It's colds and some kind of nasty virus that's making the rounds. My room as also been infected with a neverending cycle of ringworm. So far, there have been at least 8 different kids come up with it in various spots. Faces, legs, arms, heads, etc. I haven't picked it up yet but the nurse and I are getting pretty close. She just keeps the cream on hand and I send a new one down it seems at least once a week. Seems like maybe it's time for some serious lysol decontamination. Enter at your own risk. No guarantees that something can't be acquired even from just reading about it. Antibody Up!

McTeachers Night

On Monday, we had a fundraiser for our PTO at the local McDonalds. The school received 20% of the sales from 5-7, and the staff was given the chance to work behind the counter. When it was first announced and they asked for volunteers, I didn't get it. I thought they were going to come to the school and do something or I don't know what I thought but not that. We didn't even know what we would be doing that day honestly. I didn't figure they would actually let us work behind the counter because it was probably some kind of public health violation or who would really want 15 extra people trying to "help" you do your job? I can only imagine how well that would go over at school. However, I was wrong. We walked in and they put us to work. Registers, french fries, pickles on burgers, wiping tables and trays were all jobs handed out to our eager staff. Apparently, I looked inept because I got put in front of the speciality drinks machine. Mochas, smoothies, iced coffees, etc. Guess how many of those get ordered between 5-7? About 10. It was definitely the cush job to have. It wasn't even that there weren't that many ordered but that it was also super easy. You put the container under the spout, push the type and size on the touch screen, and pour it into a cup. I felt a little guilty watching the girls as the registers handle the constant stream of orders. However, I seriously struggled a little bit with making the chocolate drizzle look like an M on the top so she was probably right in putting me there. I'm not sure I could have kept up anywhere else. Our principal REALLY wanted to do fries and they finally let him about halfway through. He probably wishes he worked there instead of school sometimes. Someday I'll figure out how to get pictures off my camera. Until then, ask to see his picture. It's serious business making fries.

I had 11 of my kids and families make it out which was an awesome turnout. It was a great and easy way to make $400 for our school and much better than selling stuff. As far as never having a job in a fast food restaurant, I have to say that I stand by that decision. It wasn't because of the health or cleanliness by any means (I ordered and ate when I was done and will do so again) but that the work is tedious, long, and tiring. If have to be able to keep about a million things straight in your head and be a multitasking professional. And, they only make minimum wage. I mostly just watched and came away exhausted. One of the teachers that was working in the trenches helping with condiments and burgers says her head is still spinning. We joked that it wouldn't be surprising if she woke up shouting, "2 pickles, no ketchup!??!" at least once in the next few days. You have to be a people person to work at the counter and thanks to technology it is probably 10x easier than it was even 5 years ago. Did you know the drive thru drink machine is entirely automatic? It grabs the right sized cup, drops it in a circle, spins it around to ice and pop and stops for the human to put on the lid. Very cool. Someday, a computer will be making your burger and it's probably closer than we think. Overall, I would say the entire experience was a great success and the teachers that didn't make it severely missed out. I'm glad I didn't make food service my career choice but I'm also glad I got the chance to do it. The other side of the counter will forever be better appreciated by at least this grateful consumer.