Impact-Part II

I didn't intend to write 2 parts but when I was finished with the last post, I realized that I only talked about what happened in Africa. I never got back to the more personal part of it. The way this trip changed me. I'm probably still figuring it all out but I'm also pretty sure that's the point.

A couple days after I got back I embarked on a road trip. I figured that after having survived 15 hours on a place I would like to see how it compared to 15 hours in a car. (It is in fact better in a car minus the part where you travel a million times slower.) I set out driving and figured I would "debrief" myself while I drove. I only had the radio so it was the perfect time to reflect on what exactly God is teaching me. Or better yet, what He wanted me to do next. I tend to be a little emotionally detached so I didn't come back feeling that much different than when I went. I didn't "feel" changed or moved. I was reflective and needing to do a lot of thinking. God likes to drop things in on me while I'm thinking (AKA-talking to myself). THEN, I start to feel the change and see the difference. THEN, I can start to do something about it.

I thought about a lot of things while I was on the road. I prayed for the team that went and the people we met. I thought about our impact in Addis and how I could tell people about the trip in way that helps them understand why I think it's so important. I tried to decide where to start when people ask, "Tell me about your trip!" For the record, I still haven't quite figured that one out yet. I pretty much just start talking until eyes start to glaze over. As evidenced by this month long series of posts, there's a lot to say. Anyway, I'm not really sure where I was but I was thinking about going back next year. I was thinking about what I might change, do differently, or what it could look like. I was thinking about how great it could be and how many people I could convince to go with me. It was all quite inspiring when God just dropped in a bombshell of a thought:

"Jessica, you're life isn't supposed to be lived mission trip to mission trip. Your WHOLE LIFE is a mission trip."

Well, isn't that humbling. God likes to put me in my place when I get a little carried away. I should put it on a bumper sticker because it's going to stay with me awhile. I realized I shouldn't be focusing so much on how God can use me in Africa when I'm not in Africa right now. I'm in the United States with people who need God's love, mercy, and grace all around me. I interact with people who need God and are searching for Him everyday. I don't need to go to another country, state, or town to for God to use me or to be His light. I have to do it here too. It shouldn't just be a constant high and low as you go from outside your comfort zone to right back into it. I should be living my life with the same passion and energy as I plan for and think about a mission trip. It's not wrong for me to want to go back to Ethiopia or on another overseas trip, but it is wrong for me to neglect what I can be doing RIGHT NOW for the people around me. It's too important not to forget.

Right now, I don't feel called to go live in another country (pause for a big sigh of relief from my parents.) I DO, however, feel very strongly about the kids I'm teaching. I truly do love what I do even when it's hard and disappointing. I'm already starting to feel the excitement of meeting my new class and imaging what this year might bring. I was discouraged some last year but I never dreaded going to work. I've enjoyed my vacation but it's starting to seem right that in three weeks I'll have a new class list. I don't know what to expect but I do know that it's where I'm supposed to be right now. This IS my current mission trip, and I need to be preparing and treating it as such. It's giving me a fresh look on the year and a renewed passion that I needed. I have three weeks to get ready for my best year yet, and I plan to do just that.

Now, don't get me wrong, I believe that every person should go on trips outside their comfort zones to love God's people. You should never let age, time, or money get in the way of stepping out in faith and going on trip. God wants that opportunity to impact your life so don't use any excuses to opt out when He's giving you a way in. You won't be disappointed. It keeps you humble, changes your perspectives, and allows God to use you in completely different ways. I might have spent this next year treading water and barely keeping myself afloat in my classroom. Instead, I'll be more prepared and reenergized. I'll attack it with a passion I don't think I would have had otherwise. I will be a little bit different but by God's grace it will be better and I will be too.

I think I've finally said just about all I can say about Ethiopia 2011. I've exhausted my personal list of things I wanted to write about and remember as well as some requests from others. I hope it was well worth your time and reading. I did the best I could.

As a P.S
While I've already determined to live my life more as a mission trip instead just trip to trip, I'm still thinking about what next summer might have in store. I've been asked to lead this trip for next year; and so far, I can't think of any real reasons not to-which, as a friend kindly pointed out, was how I ended up going on this one in the first place. I'm not sure what exactly will transpire next but it could definitely involve me asking you if you want to go to Ethiopia in 2012. Did you get a little bit excited when I said that? Good. You're going. Get ready.

P.S.S.
Softball started yesterday and school starts on the 16th. Blogging will be back to school related things shortly but will probably be in hiatus for the next few weeks. I've got work to do.